Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

My conversation with today’s guest, Allan Cole, was such a powerful reminder that loss comes from so many places, not just death and that even those of us trained to help others need help sometimes too. He offers up so much warmth and wisdom as he shares the story of his diagnosis of early-onset Parkinson’s disease at the age of 48. The layers of loss he unpacks for an individual with a progressive illness like Parkinson’s and the road to mean-making he shares is shaped not just by his personal experiences but also by the decades his spent as a social work educator, clinician, author and more.Episode Resources: If you’d like to buy Allan’s beautiful book you can find it here: Counseling Persons with Parkinson's Disease.In the Care of Plenty (Poems) is now available too!Jump straight into: (04:21) - Allan’s earliest memory of grief: Losing a beloved(11:12) - Uncertainty and fear: Getting diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 48(22:05) - Fighting a lonely battle: When do we experience ambiguous loss?(28:03) - Help for the helpers? How to seek support even as a professional(33:27) - A new life: How illness can be a transformative and constructive(46:06) - Allan’s daughter’s experience with the diagnosis(50:17) - Allan’s approach to loss-based counselingEpisode Sponsor –We all need help sometimes. That is a universal truth. Mir’sdedicated and compassionate staff of Life Care Managers support their clients, their families, friends and caregivers through their care journeys. Their licensed clinicians and social workers help navigate and provide solutions for care management and provide support during what can be a difficult and challenging time. You can learn more at www.mircareconsultants.com. They even offer a free 30-minute consultation by contacting info@mircareconsultants.About The Show: If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, the founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to best-selling authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more sign up for her newsletter or follow on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn

Widowhood is obviously a topic very close to host Lisa Keefauver’s heart, and it’s also an experience no one is prepared to go through as her guest Melissa Gould shares in her best-selling book Widowish and in their conversation in this episode.Jump straight into -(05:18) - On Melissa’s first experience with loss and the importance of exploring grief without judgement(10:27) - A love story: The value of friendship and the importance of memory keeping(20:13) - Managing anticipatory grief and the cruelty of ambiguous loss(29:42) - Imagining the unimaginable: How Melissa and Joel navigated his last year of life(39:13) - Widowish: On the double standard expectations around widowhood(45:26) - Finding love after death: A conscious and empathic approach to “moving on”Episode Resources -You can find out more about Melissa Gould, buy her best-selling book Widowish, and learn more about the other work she does as a writer and writing coach by visiting www.widowish.comEpisode Sponsor –While there are a lot of simple everyday ways we can memorialize our loved-ones, Eterneva, our sponsor for today’s episode, can help you do it, well remarkably. They’ve created a way to transform memorial ashes into a diamond, and along the way they help you carry their memory forward. Visit www.eterneva.com to learn more about how you can remember remarkable. Don’t forget to check them out on @tiktok tooAbout The Show -If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, the founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more sign up for her newsletter or follow on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn

About the episodeHost Lisa Keefauver sat down for a very intimate and revealing conversation with Mindy Corporon, a grieving mother and daughter. In 2014, her very personal tragedy made headline news around the world. Her son and father were shot and killed at a Jewish Community Center outside of Kansas City by a white supremacist gunman, intent on killing Jews. In the intervening years, Mindy has worked tirelessly to heal her shattered soul, also the title of her beautiful book, and in today’s episode she shares what she’s learned about grief and healing and courageous kindness along the way.Jump straight into:03:40 - Mindy’s first experience with grief - “My parents allowed me to say goodbye. They allowed me to understand that it was a reality and I'm sure if I was sad, they allowed me an opportunity to be sad.”10:28 - Mindy’s story of losing her son and father in 2014 - “I'll start on April 12th, because on April 12th, we were a family of four.”20:18 - Justice, compassion and forgiveness: Dealing with violent murder - “My reality is that they were murdered and have had to process that. And I look for things that bring me joy and I look purposely for kindness.”32:50 - Shock and how our bodies begin to understand death - “I wanted them to walk through the door. I wanted them to appear in the house. I just kept thinking, I'm in a nightmare. This didn't happen.”39:26 - Grief support and the surprising ways people show up - “They breathe life and joy and talking and smiles into our home. They helped me eat again. They helped my husband eat again. They helped get Lucas what he needed.”48:59 - Post-traumatic growth and embodying love - “Each of us needs to feel comfortable in finding whatever our path is to helping ourselves heal.”57:33 - A story of Popeye and Reat and the importance of courageous kindness - “We received hundreds of cards from students and student parents telling us what an amazing friend he was. And that is always with my heart, that he was an amazing friend and his friends still remember him.”Episode ResourcesHealing A Shattered Soul by Mindy CorporonEpisode SponsorThank you to Eterneva for sponsoring this important episode. Visit www.eterneva.com to learn more about how they help you celebrate your remarkable loved ones (and check them out on TikTok too).About The showIf you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, the founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more visit www.reimagininggrief.com Inviting you to follow @reimagininggrief on all your favorite socials too for the latest news on this podcast, daily invitations on grief wisdom and so much more.